6 terrible things really good-looking people have to deal with at work

May 24, 2016 by Brendan Jack

Really attractive people, they bleed too. Just because no one’s ever bought you a car because your smile can melt a glacier, or because you’ve never even been allowed into the VIP section of any event, that doesn’t mean you should judge them through your disapproving and somewhat ugly lens. Here is a somewhat tongue-in-cheek look at the situation.

The Lowdown

When looking down on someone for being ‘too beautiful’, remember these dark, sad realities:

  1. You get jobs even if you’re up against someone better qualified (but less good looking.) Plus you often get a slightly better salary than the more qualified person. It’s really patronising and not cool.
  2. You don’t even have to do your job once you get it; someone with terrible face-bone structure and dry skin will do it for you, gladly. Like whatever, it’s so frustrating. And no I don’t want to go for drinks with you after work… I’m leaving early to Instagram swimwear I got sent for free.
  3. People look at you like you’re a piece of meat. Delicious meat that they’d pay anything to have (but will never get to taste.) It’s actually so terrifying being hot.
  4. Colleagues are always Whatsapping you pictures of their genitals. It’s like being the host of Genital X Factor. So boring and mostly gross.
  5. People think you’re an airhead. Until you mention that you’ve got a marketing diploma and come from a wealthy family and you have unlimited air miles because your godfather owns an airline. It’s so funny when below normal-looking people realise that you’re not just a pretty face.
  6. Normal people don’t look you in the eyes. They spend their time ogling and lusting at your physique and ‘natural talents’. Sometimes they’ll take time out to look you in the eyes after they’ve finished objectifying you and discover that you also have incredibly gorgeous eyes.
  7. Beautiful people are often unexpectedly generous, hence this extra point on the list; even though I said there were only 6 things in the title.

Summing Up

Remember these points the next time you want to judge someone for being exquisite to behold. It’s way harder than it looks and you should be ashamed of yourself. Especially (name deleted) in the finance department… you’re close to a restraining order or getting a visit from my gym instructor, who’s also a model and a bouncer. Take a moment to judge yourself before you get judged back, super-hard, by someone else’s seriously bitchy (but gorgeous) inner voice.

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