Nosey Business

Nothing gets attention like a punch in the face. Or a broken nose. The nose can play for more than an olfactory function when it comes to breaking the ice. There are many expressions and anecdotes that relate to the nose. The nosey parker comes to mind, as does that old saying "don't go sticking your nose where it does not belong". The nose needs to get a better deal. When you really want to get someone's attention then the Nosey Business icebreaker could work wonders.

Guide lines
Ready, Steady, Go!

Conceal a piece of dry, uncooked pasta in your pocket, ready to use at the right opportunity. Don't use on very squeamish people, or maybe do. Your call. Without the person or people noticing, put the piece of pasta between your back teeth. When you bite down on it, the ice will be broken. Your nose will be ok, but it may scare a few people. Please be careful.

You:

You know what it means to break the ice, right?

But, what about breaking the nose?

Lend me your ears

There is a good story one can tell here, about the old days back in school, when we pretended to bang our heads on the desk or table, to impress the girls or to give the teacher a fright. I am sure you remember that old gag when you had your fist under the desk and when you brought your head down to bang it on the wooden desk, you simultaneously hit the desk underneath with the back of your knuckles. The effect is that people heard a banging sound and were convinced you smacked your head on the table. It was a demonstration of your superhuman strength. Well, it showed how hard headed you were. And now we can throw in something that if we had used back in our school days, well, we would have taken things up to a whole new level.

You can share any kind of story or you can simply hold your nose and pretend that you just accidentally tripped and bumped into the door on your way in and that you think you hurt your nose.

You:

Hey, I bumped my nose a little earlier… does it look broken to you?

Seal the Deal and Reveal

Once they've had a glance at your shnozz, hold your nose with one or two hands and pretend you're adjusting it back into place. As you do, bite and crunch down on the dry pasta. It'll make a cracking sound. Pretend you're feeling relief.

You:

Oh that feels much better, is it straight?

Give them a few more crunch adjustments on the nose, or reveal that it's pasta immediately, depending on how concerned your audience are.

You:

Relax, it’s just a piece of pasta.

Carry a napkin in your pocket to discreetly get rid of the broken pasta, or enjoy the snack.

Some extra lines to possibly use

  • It's just fun, let's not make any bones about it.
  • Does my nose look al dente?
  • People often say I've got a Roman nose.
  • Once you've cracked, then you snack.
  • It's a low-carb icebreaker.
  • Pasta la vista, baby.
Alternative ending

You could always whip out a bag of uncooked pasta and go on to say how you can cook up a storm with this one. Between the pasta and the nose, the creative segueway are numerous. The “nose job” has always been a talking point, but it can be a bit on the sensitive side, so proceed with caution.

 
Responses
Anticipated responses and retorts

Are you ok?

I will nose in a few moments.

You ever scare anyone with that?

I almost got you.

How did you do that?

With some pasta, and a bit of Coolfidence.
Good follow ups
When & where
When to use it
  • When you are wanting to get someone's attention in a big way.
  • When in a social setting at work and you want to get people loosened up and laughing.
  • When people are falling asleep and you want to wake them up – careful not to scare anyone too much.
Where to use it
  • office
  • team building events
  • brainstorming sessions
  • socializing at a bar
Getting ready
Items required
  • your nose
  • some pasta (penne works best)
Preparation
  • Have some uncooked penne pasta in your pocket.
  • It might help to have a napkin in your pocket to get rid of the pasta afterwards in a decent way.
Training required
  • Practice this once in front of the mirror and you will be a nose master.
  • Make sure you can stop your head just near the table surface (if you want to throw the head banging in as a flourish).
Watch out (potential unexpected effects)
  • You may give people a serious fright - be careful.
  • Know where the table is when you pretend to hit it - real blood is effective but not required here (again, for the head banging flourish).
Details

type type

Do It Yourself (DIY)

material material

pasta

size size

small (it fits in your pocket)

durability durability

pretty durable: pasta can melt or break in your pocket

source source

only the nose knows

time to impact time to impact

pretty much there and then

size of audience size of audience

can be one or several people - they just need to hear the sound of the pasta cracking

possible health risk possible health risk

don’t do this to someone with a fragile constitution – it may scare them a bit

reusable how many times you can use it

once per person

training needed training needed

medium (make sure not to swallow the pasta and not to break your nose for real)

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